If you find yourself asking yourself
(and your friends)
"Am I REALLY a writer?
Am I REALLY an artist?"
Chances are
YOU ARE.
The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident.
THE REAL ONE
is
scared
to
death.
(Steven Pressfield "The War of Art")
That's me...Scared to death, self sabotaging, blocking myself. I am so, so scared of mucking this year up. 2013 is following on from an amazing first year of full-time art and public acknowledgment that I paint. 2012 was a year of productive painting, a couple of wins and the selling of a substantial piece. What if I can't sustain it this year? What if I run out of ideas? What if I forget how to paint? What if I'm just plainly, simply crap at this? What if...what if?
The cure, my friends, is knowledge. If you are going through the same battle as me, losing your confidence in between painting projects, you need to work out what makes YOU tick...Knowledge of what you like to paint and what tickles your fancy when you are in a good painting zone; knowledge of what you like in other artists work and why you may prefer one painting over another; knowledge of your strengths and weaknesses. Knowledge that you can win this battle if you can just believe in yourself.
After really, really pondering these questions yesterday, my knowledge is: that I prefer life portraits over landscapes; large blocks of solid background and not busy backgrounds; big canvas', and not small works; strong composition and vivid colour; that I am quite impatient to get to the detailed part of the painting,and need to slow down and enjoy the early steps, that I'm good at the detail when I get there, but I need to be patient on the journey; that I am not great at premixing a full palette of paint and need to push myself harder to do this vital step; that I love preplanning the photography stage of a painting and capturing a great image, so I need to utilise this love of photography to then paint an amazing work....and that I can keep on painting by just getting in that damn hot, sweat inducing sauna of a studio and going through the motions of painting, until I just start seeing the work evolving on the canvas in front of me. Patiently.
Update... 24 hours into analysing the depths of my brain space and I think the flood gates have been opened...I worked today. With this as my inspiration: Its hot, so hot, even the cicadas have even given up their joyous rapport to find some shade. The garden is burnt and wilted, the sky is the amazing vibrant blue of a scorching summers day. Its 38 degrees and only slightly cooler in my studio...but I painted. Only coming inside to refresh my water bottle and wipe the sweat from my brow...and armpits. Thank goodness I was painting snow! Update, update! Dudie has JUST bought me a portable air conditioner!!! YIPEEE!! See, all it takes is a plan of attack and things fall into place. I leave you now with some parting words (from Pinterest) that I am planning to use... Be You, Bravely x Mia